Central Sydney today is gripped by crisis. Gridlock rules. Hundred of journalists are stuck in the APEC Media Centre, unable to come up with an original story thanks to manically controlled media opportunities.

The consequences are catastrophic for national debate. The meeja has been filled with endless navel giving – recycling of recycled “What is APEC?” stories and analysis of the analysis of yesterday’s Newspoll result.

Journalists are reportedly panicked at the thought that this morning’s presser with the PM and the President will run on a loop on the teevs for the rest of the day. The three questions allocated to the local hacks will need to be stretched and stretched and stretched so they can fill pages of papers.

So panicked – and so distressed, Crikey hears – that they are thinking of donning dreadlock wigs and rolling ball-bearings under the hoofs of police horses to try and get a new story.