Yes it’s Christmas again, the time of year when HR managers flex their special brand of officious.

If anyone can kill the festive spirit — and the office Christmas party — it’s the HR department armed with fresh advice from the laywers. (At Fairfax of course it’s the CEO in the role of Grinch).

Inspired by our Friday story, a Crikey reader sent us a copy of his flatmate’s company email (note the charming spelling of tee totaller):

Dear all,

With the festive season around the corner, I wanted to remind everyone of the requirements of our Code of Conduct in relation to alcohol consumption at office functions and external events. We expect everyone to drink responsibly, as there are risks to XX XXXXX and you as a result of excessive alcohol consumption.

What to do: If you’re invited to a business lunch and you consume too much alcohol, please do not return to work. Instead, call your Manager; let him/her know that you’ve consumed too much alcohol. You will most probably be asked to get a cab home and you will need to discuss how your absence will be treated from a “leave” perspective.

If you’re aware that one of your colleagues is affected by alcohol at work, have a talk to your Manager or HR immediately. Your Manager/HR will determine the most appropriate action.

If you’re at a social function sponsored by XX XXXXX and you feel as though you have consumed too much alcohol, please have a talk to your Manager or HR . We need to ensure your safety and the safety of others. If you are at a work function, or in the office, and you witness inappropriate, unprofessional behaviour as a result of alcohol consumption, speak to your Manager, HR or Compliance immediately.

While we do not expect you to be tea totalers, excessive alcohol consumption is not acceptable behaviour at XX XXXXX and if it is determined that an employee is intoxicated at work or a work function, appropriate action will be taken. If you have any questions or concerns, have a chat to one of our HR team. Looking forward to seeing you at the Christmas party.

Have you received a similar message from your company? Have a Christmas office party horror story? Send it to boss@crikey.com.au (We promise to blank out all identifying details where necessary!)