Glenn Milne: beautiful loser.  Not content with the attention Bill Henson was getting, Glenn Milne whipped up a bit of outrage in The Australian  this morning.  Labor’s chances in the Gippsland by-election have been dealt a “potentially devastating blow”, writes Milne. Why is that? Because local mayor Darren McCubbin, running for the ALP, last year supported an act called The Beautiful Losers for the Water Water Arts Festival he was directing. And, here’s the clincher, “the group’s adverts feature a blow-up s-x doll”.

Goodness! Milne, who presumably hasn’t seen the show, quotes from a review that praises it by listing its various depravities. What he doesn’t mention is that it’s a Green Room Award winner, was part of the Adelaide Cabaret Festival, and was concocted by some of the most respected artists of the Melbourne cabaret scene. The show was originally conceived by [Karlis] Zaid as a reaction “against what he perceived as the cheesiness, cliche and superficiality of the now-defunct Sydney Cabaret Convention”, wrote Fiona Scott-Norman in The Age. “Beautiful Losers is a bright, inventive, clever show that sits Randy Newman’s ‘Shame’ and Frenzal Rhomb’s ‘The Only Gay Soldier Left in Iraq’ next to the Police’s ‘Every Breath You Take’, David Bowie’s ‘The Gravedigger’ and the Doug Anthony Allstars’ ‘I F— Dogs’.” Still, perhaps Milne’s right. Melbourne’s regions should stick to Aladdin on Ice. — Jane Nethercote

The next target. Crikey has intercepted meeting notes of the Serious Citizens against Nefarious Child S-xualisation (or SCANCS) about their next project:

With the roaring success of the Henson campaign — thanks Miranda for all your hard work — Beryl has suggested it is finally time to purge backroom VHS shelves across the nation of the scourge that has blighted Australia since 1980.

And nobody can defend it as art this time!

We must be thorough and not forget to demand the pulping of the sequel.

Satin watch. Yes, Anna, you win.

We’re lovin it! Thanks to Crikey reader Cameron who spotted this genius ad placement from The Age (original story here):

Ray Martin to present Andrew Olle lecture. Will the country’s major media public address, the Andrew Olle Memorial lecture, descend into an unseemly example of blood sport this October? The question is being asked after the news that former Nine journalist and TV Personality of The Year, Ray Martin, is to make the address this year. His naming was revealed officially by the ABC this morning. Martin’s selection has already sparked some debate: some media people say it’s a fine choice; while others reckon it’s another example of why the Olle Lecture is so uneven. Last year it was News Ltd boss, John Hartigan, who at least has some understanding of the industry. But the Olle speech has also been made by the likes of Steve Vizard, Chris Anderson, Lachlan Murdoch and John Alexander in the past. Putting aside Vizard, the likes of Alexander, Murdoch and Anderson have had some influence on the Australian media, good or bad, as has Hartigan, Kerry Stokes and Jana Wendt, some of the other speakers over the years. But Ray Martin is a tap dancer: he doesn’t have the creative drive of John Doyle, or David Williamson, or the drive of Harold Mitchell. Will Ray’s speech be a bit of a dry run of the memoirs he’s doing for Random House, or more along the now infamous “carpet strollers” jibe at Nine management during the recent unpleasant times? In the ABC’s announcement of Martin’s selection it detailed his very solid career at the ABC and the Nine Network, but one part summed up how many in the media feel about him: “Ray Martin has won five Gold Logies for Most Popular Personality on Australian TV.” Ray Martin has always wanted to be popular and the limelight beckons again. — Glenn Dyer

Last night’s TV ratings
The Winners: 60 minutes was tops with 1.712 million, with Seven News in second with 1.706 million and Nine News third with 1.503 million. Nine’s Domestic Blitz schmaltzed its way to 1.481 million at 6.30pm and CSI won 8.30pm as well with 1.323 million. Seven’s Gladiators averaged 1.262 million at 6.30pm, and Wild China averaged a solid 1.222 million at 7.30pm for the ABC. In 8th spot was Grey’s Anatomy with 1.140 million for Seven, with the 7pm ABC News averaging 1.092 million for 9th spot. Seven’s 8pm program, My Name Is Earl averaged 1.046 million. The Big Brother Live Eviction averaged 1.026 million which is poor and the late ABC News update averaged 1.008 million after the China special. Nine’s Without A Trace averaged 966,000 at 9.30pm, Most Shocking on Seven at 7.30pm averaged 921,000 and Brothers and Sisters averaged 874,000 for Seven at 9.30pm.

The Losers: Big Brother from 6.30pm to 7.30pm: 906,000. Not good enough any more. The Live Eviction with 1.026 million from 7.30pm last night. Just over 1.02 million which is a bomb for Ten – Wild China on the ABC beat it. Most Shocking/My Name Is Earl on Seven from 7.30 to 8.30pm beat it and it continues to hurt Rove at 9pm with 775,000 viewers last night. The thing Ten can do to cut its losses is to get rid of one of the Sunday night Big Brother programs or turn it into a two hour compered program. It can also ditch the underwhelming Big Brother Big Mouth tonight and do a live stream from the house at 10.30pm. The hosts, Kyle Sandilands and Jackie O are not setting the world on fire. The Flight of The Conchords on Ten after Rove, 467,000. Sad.

News & CA: Seven News again won nationally and in every market but Adelaide. The AFL lead-in was better for Seven than the NRL lead-in was for Nine. Ten News, 678,000. SBS News at 6.30pm, 267,000. In the morning battle Weekend Sunrise from 8am averaged 416,000, Landline on the ABC at noon, 240,000, Early Weekend Sunrise from 7.30pm, 165,000, Insiders on the ABC at 9am, 152,000, Sunday on Nine from 7.30am, 128,000; Inside Business on the ABC at 10am, 118,000, Offsiders on the ABC at 10.30pm, 105,000 and Meet The Press on Ten at 8am, 74,000.

The Stats: Nine won with a share of 31.0% (29.7% last week) from Seven with 24.3% (26.0%), Ten with 18.9% (19.0%), the ABC with 17.8% (18.2%) and SBS with 8.00% (6.0%). Nine won all five metro markets. In regional markets Nine won through WIN/NBN with 35.2% from Prime/7Qld with 23.6%, Ten with 17.0%, the ABC with 17.9% and SBS with 6.2%.

Glenn Dyer’s comments: A solid win last night by Nine, but also a solid win for Seven among the demographics and misery for Ten which has stalled with the collapse of Big Brother. It can’t take it off now, there’s nothing in the programming locker and the loss of prestige and face would be too much. Seven claimed primetime for all viewers under the age of 55 last night (that’s 6pm to midnight). 60 minutes was strong last night in the younger demos because of the Lauren Huxley story. But that’s about all Seven had to boast about. It was a big win by Nine last night and Ten was beaten into fourth in the ABC in regional Australia. Last Friday Seven’s Sunrise climbed above 400,000 for the first time in a week to average 414,000 and Today eased a touch. But the gap is shrinking. Tonight its the big pussy cats with stripes with David Attenborough on Nine at 7.30pm, plus Sea Patrol on Nine, Good News Week on Ten and maybe Australian Story at 8pm on the ABC. It is in fact surprisingly lean viewing for a Monday night.

Source: OzTAM, TV Networks reports