Why did Jesse apologise? The reverend Jesse Jackson, appearing on FOX News last week, “thought” his microphone was off and muttered to a fellow guest how pissed off he was that Obama had laid into “black fathers” during a recent speech. “I’d like to cut his nuts off” Jackson muttered, facetiously.

FOX played the tape and Jackson then did a press conference expressing his sorrow and regret. It’s times like this, the sheer unctuosness of American politics gets to you. Jackson shoulda just stood up and said “damn right I wanted to cut his nuts off — I was really really pissed” (i.e. angry) “but he’s still gonna be a great President.”

Theories? Some say Jackson is way too smart for this not to be a put-up job, a way of expressing his displeasure publicly and then taking the hit himself. Then there’s the meta-theory that it’s a staged distancing of Obama from the older black leadership, positioning him further to the centre. But with Jesse Jackson’s son weighing in to denounce his father’s criticism of Obama’s criticism of black fathers that culminated in threats of castration, the last word will presumably go to psychoanalysts.

“The nation already has one Dr Phil”. Obama, this time, on Phil Gramm, McCain’s designated economic advisor, who just remarked that the country is “suffering from a mental recession” and that the US was becoming a “nation of whiners”. With reports everyday of people playing four-way hopscotch re housekeeping — food/rent/gas/prescriptions which of these — the remark is about as dead-headed as it gets. McCain rejected it, saying “Phil Gramm does not speak for me — I speak for me”. Unfortunately, for McCain, Gramm does speak for him. The candidate has described Gramm as his “economic guru”, and pushed him forward to answer economic questions in his stead on the road. It’s a further hit for an already beleaguered campaign.

A little help here. That campaign could do with a bit of political viagra. Fortunately for McCain, the little blue pill is funded by private health insurers, compulsorily so under government legislation. Unfortunately, that law doesn’t extend to birth control, and McCain was one of those who voted for that double standard. Videod in the press pit o the Straight Talk Express in one of his increasingly rambling encounters, McCain giggled a little and then paused for about 20 seconds trying to recall his voting record. No shame in not knowing every vote you’ve made, but the viagra/pill deal is an obviously sleazy compromise with the Christian right. Stand up, stand up for Jesus.

Whither Turd Blossom. When Team Bush departs from Washington will Karl Rove be staying on — underneath the Capitol building? There’s a prison cell there, dating from the 1930s, and those who think Rove will be done for contempt are hoping he’ll end up there. Bush’s brain has refused to comply with a subpoena calling him before the House Judiciary Committee to answer questions about … God you have to page through a few notes to find out which act of bastardry Rove is getting investigated for now.

This one is the alleged influencing of dodgy prosecutions of Democratic Party candidates that landed several of them with prison sentences later almost instantly quashed on appeal. Rove is hoping that the Democrats will continue their cautious/pissweak strategies and let him pass. But he may have miscalculated as to Democratic unity, with Rep. Linda Sanchez the subcommittee chair pursuing him with surprising fervour. Will Karl be kollared? If not, he can always come to Australia, and get a job as Senator David Feeney’s body quadruple.