Whenever possible, I’ve been buying a newspaper here in India, and at only one or two rupees each they’re spectacularly good value. I’m especially enjoying the crime reporting, and here is a great example from The Times Of India (Chennai edition), 29/12/09.

Vehicles damaged in mysterious attack

Chennai: Two motorcycles parked on the roadside went up in flames at two spots in Tondiarpet in the early hours on Monday. Five cars parked nearby were damaged by miscreants, police said.

Mohammed Gouse, a resident in the area, had on Sunday parked his motorcycle (TN 04 R 5447) by the roadside. He woke up with a start at 2am on Monday and noticed his vehicle ablaze. He rushed out and doused the flames but the bike was partially gutted. Near the Mohanalakshmi Kalyana Mantapam in the same area, residents noticed a motorcycle, a Bajaj Pulsar, on fire, which policemen quickly extinguished.

Police also received information that the five cars parked by the roadside near the Kummalamman Koil junction were damaged on Monday morning. They found the windshields of a Tata Indica, Maruthi 800, Maruthi Omni, another car and a minor lorry damaged.

Soon, senior police officers arrived. After questioning neighbours, they learnt that the miscreants could be someone staying in the area and that a group of them could have damaged the vehicles while they were returning after watching a movie.

…

“We have formed special teams to nab the culprits. The petrol tubes from two of the two-wheelers were removed before the vehicles were set ablaze. Some miscreants returning from a theatre after the night show could have indulged in this and also damaged the windshields of the cars parked 200 metres away. We have got a vital lead and will soon nab the culprits,” Washermanpet deputy commissioner of police, N K Senthamaraikannan, told TOI. Tondiarpet police have registered a case and are investigating.

“Miscreants”, “formed special teams”, “nab the culprits”, “indulged in this”, “vital lead”.

Love it.