This week Tony Abbott spent the best part of a day and a night stranded in the desert wastelands of Kings Creek Station — five hours drive south-west from Alice Springs and in a region widely regarded as “busted-arse cattle country”.

For a few hours Abbott had not a clue where he was, with no fuel, no water, no backup, no grog, no maps, a useless satellite phone and with a bunch of journalists — the last people you’d want to be stranded out here with — for company.

As Rudd and Roxon rolled out their hospital reform plan, Abbott has spent the week — he will be back in Canberra today — swanning around central Australia having what looks very much like a holiday, in political terms at least.

It’s hard to see what buck Abbott was trying to get a bang out of while he was here. He didn’t make any policy announcements or push any local or national political buttons. Abbott spent Monday annoying some poor blackfellas living under rusty tin in one of the town camps scattered around Alice Springs and blew up a few vapid and ill-informed “thought bubbles” on indigenous affairs policy.

Abbott then went out to Ian Conway’s Kings Creek station to ride around on quad bikes, cast his eye over a few feral camels and shorthorn cattle, feed a few crumbs to the selected media chooks and, well, get “lost”. Yesterday was spent talking to some blokes who used to shoot camels.

As Paul Toohey notes in today’s Herald Sun, on Tuesday this week Abbott:

“Conway had left his sat phone behind as he went to search for pitchuri…Things went awry later that afternoon, at about 5pm, when Conway left the group…to search of a [sic] bush narcotic known as pitchuri. Conway said he’d been gone only 20 minutes or so.”

Over at the Sydney Morning Herald Abbott at least scores an online front-page link (“Up Fossil Creek without a clue”) with a picture of him eating a grub. Mark Davis reflected:

“With the light fading, the chopper couldn’t land but could drop some supplies. ”Beer, water, food and rugs. Especially beer,” quipped the Opposition Leader.

“After failing to make a voice call, Mr Abbott tried sending a text to the only mobile phone number he could remember, that of his press secretary Claire Kimball back in Canberra. ‘WERE LOSTNEARFOSSIL CREEK’ the text said. No one could work out how to put spaces between words.

Abbott and his grub (“tastes like a gritty oyster”) also get a run in The Australian, where the only point of significance that Tom Dusevic can extract from Abbott’s trip is that Abbott “declared”:

“…serious national leaders were obliged to understand indigenous issues from first-hand experience — a day after he became lost while exploring remote country in Central Australia.”

Walter Shaw is President of Tangentyere Council that provides services to the town camps in Alice Springs. Shaw told Crikey he didn’t know why Abbott bothered to come to Alice Springs.

“Tony Abbott barged into Hoppy’s Camp the other day with a huge media contingent and without invitation or even the courtesy of telling people there that he was coming,” he said. “This was just rude and disrespectful. He should have come and sat down to talk with us about the good work we do here and not just take cheap shots in the media. His comments about conditions in the town camps weren’t based on the facts. “

Crikey couldn’t contact Hubert Pareroultja (his correct name) before going to press but did speak to a friend of his who said that Hubert’s response to the theme that Abbott and the party was “lost” was that it was “bullshit!”.

What’s more, Hubert and the other traditional owners identified by the media had foot-walked and ridden that country on camels for decades — and would have known where they were at all times.