Who are the Patron Saints of Parliament?

It may have only been a light-hearted assessment of his and Tony Abbott’s saintly namesakes, but last night’s comparison of the canonised from Kevin Rudd has got Crikey wondering: just who are the Patron Saints of Parliament?

In an apparently off-the-cuff speech to the Queensland Irish Association, Modern Day Kevin delighted in referring to his holy namesake — Saint Kevin of Glendalough — as a man who was able to steer his monastery through a 6^th century GFC while holding back “wave after wave” of unauthorised people movements.

Saint Kevin of Glendalough and his menagerie of animals

While we’re not sure about the credentials of Middle Ages Kevin in stemming illegal immigration, Catholic database SQPN.com  does indeed confirm that he was highly successful in strictly overseeing the bureaucracy of his monastery.

Yet it is some of the other legends that surround Saint Kevin that may be of interest to Crikey readers, such as a preference for the company of animals, a palate for herbs and the ability to milk wolves. Sources in the church were unable to confirm if this last miracle was actually a reference to Sister Julia.

Saint Kevin then took great pleasure in comparing his counterpart Tony Abbott to the Italian Saint Anthony of Padua, a “seriously multicultural 13th century type” who was the patron of lost articles.

However, Crikey reckons the Liberal leader is more of a match for Saint Anthony of Abbott, the 3rd century patron saint of pigs who miraculously healed people with the application of pork fat.

According to legend, Saint Tony was constantly taunted by evil spirits, especially the devil, who took no end of delight in dressing in the guise of a woman.

Saint Anthony Abbott Tempted by the Devil in the Guise of a Woman

It gets even worse for poor old Saint Tony, as he had to constantly deal with the temptations of wealth. Many believed that he held an inner desire to redistribute wealth that was not his through “Ye Greate Big Tithe” and his plea to “sell all you have and give the money to the poor” was once such occasion where he may have contradicted true conservative ideology.

St Anthony Abbott Tempted by Gold

At Crikey we are keen to hear who you think are the Patron Saints of Parliament. Who has performed the required miracles to be canonised by the holy one? Email boss@crikey.com.au with your suggestions