Campaign Crikey Leftovers: Emmo on cucumbers, Libs seek Feedback, marsupial ode

Emmo’s portfolio greatly expanded. Julia Gillard’s ex Craig Emerson held on to his small business portfolio in the recent Cabinet reshuffle, but it seems his unofficial duties have expanded exponentially. The latest releases on the Member for Rankin’s portfolio site contain such vexing topics as “Should i move in with a boyfriend i have known for three weeks?”, “Unusual mens personal ads”, “bis-xual dating ” and “Cucumbers in yogurt”:

Emmo’s advice on the boyfriend situation is blunt:  “No one else can tell you what stage you and your boyfriend are at.” Misspellings also come in for special attention. “Why is Jonathan so difficult to spell?,” Emmo muses. “It’s supposedly quite a common name, and not that difficult to spell. Yet, here are just some of the mis-spellings”.

The known practical joker, and possible malware victim, also tells someone called “Eric” that “everyone” has unusual men’s personal ads, with the clear implication his correspondent shouldn’t have to look far for gratification. — Andrew Crook

Libs run dead in Melbourne, but still seek Feedback. The Liberal Party has declared only a minor interest in the race for the federal seat of Melbourne, but that hasn’t stopped second-string candidate Simon Olsen from sending out postal vote applications to benefit the party’s internal database. Each election the major parties despatch an official-looking form with a reply-paid envelope addressed to a post office box owned by them, without disclosing this to the recipient (read our 2007 coverage of the scam here). They eventually forward this info on to the electoral commission, but carefully note down the voter’s pertinent details for their own devices first.

The secretive databases, which the ALP calls “Electrac” and the Liberals “Feedback”, enable the parties to tailor their message to individuals, deduce who votes for who, and weed out serial pests. “Don’t miss out! It’s your future!” say the Libs on the “postal vote application information” designed to look like something sent by the AEC. The kicker is obscured in 6-point font on page 2 : “Please note: as the security of external information systems cannot be assured, the AEC does not accept any liability for unauthorised interception of electronic communications associated with the use of this form”. So now we know. — Andrew Crook

Of all the marsupials… In what we can only presume to be a nod to Crikey‘s very own Interpretive Dance Bandicoot (@dancebandicoot), the Herald Sun today reveals their latest psephological animal:

Marsupial mystic: Eastern red barred bandicoot Peter sniffs its way through the political undergrowth…

But can he dance?

Leaflet watch wants your junk mail. Leaflet droppers be warned. A new website has launched this morning with the explicit aim of making politician’s junk mail public. The site, which is run by OpenAustralia founder Matthew Landauer, encourages punters to upload any flyers, pamphlets or action plans that they happen to come across in their letterbox. Says the website:

“Election leaflets are one of the main weapons in the fight for votes in Australia. They are targeted, effective and sometimes very bitter. We need your help to photograph and map them so we can keep an eye on what the parties are up to, and try to keep them honest.”

The site is based on a similar project in Britain, which saw 6027 leaflets uploaded during their recent election. At time of publication eleven leaflets had been uploaded to the site, with four coming from The Greens and seven from the Liberal Party. — Tom Cowie

Hockey’s Hilton gag falls flat. Yesterday’s daft Joe Hockey line that Wayne Swan’s fiscal performance “was to surpluses what Paris Hilton is to celibacy” isn’t the first time the substance-free starlet has been used in a guilt-by-association political attack. In 2008, a John McCain spot on Barack Obama famously featured the soon-to-be Prez mingling with Britney Spears and Hilton, in a bizarre attempt to paint him as intellectually shallow. Ironically, exactly the same accusation was made this morning by Laura Tingle in her assessment of Hockey’s grasp of the Coalition’s spending cuts. — Andrew Crook

Abbott gets Rickrolled. Tony Abbott’s real action TV spot receives a much-needed makeover:

Campaign Crikey Leftovers are reheated for your dining pleasure each day. Email any morsels to boss@crikey.com.au.