The No campaign’s recently released video, “You can say no”, has been causing quite a stir. By now we know that all three of the “concerned mums” are actually political operatives working for the No campaign. But what you might not know is that this was not the campaign’s first go at a propaganda video. Satirist Ben Pobjie has his own “Deep Throat”, a contact buried deep within the No campaign, who has provided Crikey with the following transcript of the video’s deleted scenes. As Ben has not steered us wrong thus far, we’re pretty sure this is a genuine transcript of what ended up no the cutting-room floor.

 

 

Scene: Concerned mother sitting in tasteful lounge room

MOTHER: Yesterday my daughter came home from school in tears. The principal told her that if same sex-marriage becomes legal, she’ll be forced to join the netball team. What happened to choice?

Concerned mother No. 2 looks up from weeding the flower bed

MOTHER 2: I’m worried that once two people of the same sex can marry, what’s to stop my son getting pregnant? I’m not ready for that responsibility. And what makes it worse is that I’m unaffiliated with any particular church or lobby group.

Concerned mother No. 3 pulls into driveway and looks out car window at camera

MOTHER 3: I’ve just gotten back from a meeting with my kid’s teacher. She says that once gay marriage passes everyone in kindergarten has to wear a bra. As an independent ordinary mum, I feel so powerless.

Concerned mother No. 4 flushes toilet and turns to camera

MOTHER 4: I’ve never even heard of the ACL or Marriage Alliance, but one thing’s for sure: I am not a member of anything. What does political correctness say to that?

Concerned mother No. 5 sits at a desk in a large office

MOTHER 5: They have same-sex marriage in America. Do you know what else they had in America? The Civil War. Is that the future you want for your children?

Concerned mother no. 6 sits in kitchen sipping coffee

MOTHER 6: I love my morning coffee, but how can any of us enjoy coffee when our kids are being taught to perform gender reassignment surgery on themselves? They don’t even use anaesthetic, yet I’m told that if I complain I’ll have my passport revoked for racism. It just doesn’t seem fair. 

Concerned mother No. 7 wakes up in bed and sits up to speak

MOTHER 7: When I decided to become an everyday mother with normal concerns, I never dreamed that would mean I’d be forced to bake sodomy cakes at gunpoint. What’s happened to this country?

Concerned mother No. 8 stands in bridal gown in front of church, holding a baby

MOTHER 8: We’re married now. Thanks, Mr Shorten.