(Image: Mitchell Squire/Private Media)

Those randy British politicians are just so far behind ours. Over the weekend we saw a senior minister in the UK government resign over improper relations with a staff member — while here in Australia we were busily reinstating one accused of the same offence.

Not just one, mind. The Morrison government can now boast a cabinet full of grubs (well, at least more than previously) after yesterday’s reshuffle brought on by Barnaby Joyce’s second coming. So, welcome back all the gropers, the rorters, the drunks, the deniers, the imbeciles and sycophants collectively known as the federal Nationals.

As foreshadowed in Crikey by Bernard Keane, the well-regarded, competent Veterans Affairs Minister Darren Chester was dumped purely for spite to be replaced by Bridget “sports rorts” McKenzie.

As Guardian Australia’s Amy Remeikis tweeted: “With Bridget McKenzie’s return to the cabinet, there is now no one who has suffered any long-term consequences for any actions in this government. They’re all back where they started.”

Probably lucky, then, the nation was in the grip of a surging pandemic crisis to focus attention away from the ugly Nationals spectacle.

On the upside, the weekend also saw the demise of Nationals Senator Sam “maggotted” McMahon. She lost her Northern Territory slot to the Indigenous conservative Jacinta Price. It was sad personal news for the senator who earlier in the week blamed “sad personal news” for her unseemly unsteady behaviour in the Senate chamber, which required her Coalition colleagues to escort her to the exit.

Some accused her of being “trolleyed”, “off her head” and even “maggotted” in a damning SMH story on Thursday. Hard to believe that was not even going to be the low point of her week.

And if Prime Minister Scott Morrison wants to see what having a feral Nats deputy leader in the government feels like, he need look no further than the embattled NSW government. As Premier Gladys Berejiklian desperately tries to contain her health and political crisis, she can always rely on the public and private support of her “loyal” deputy premier, Nats Leader John Barilaro.

In shades of Morrison vowing to attend the footy at the start of the pandemic last year, Barilaro tweeted yesterday: “Despite the growing risk of COVID-19 in Greater Sydney, we will not be giving up our right to host the State of Origin decider.” He added that he had spoken to NRL chair Peter V’landys about holding it in Newcastle if health authorities are concerned. Good to know he’d spoken to the man he thinks runs the state rather than the woman who should.

Meanwhile, in the more staid world of Westminster politics, UK Health Secretary Matt Hancock finally fell on his sword after racy photos emerged earlier in the week of him kissing and fondling an aide in his office. It’s not entirely clear if the hanging offence was breaching a staff bonking ban (aka “a Joyce”) or because as health minister he had flagrantly broken his own lockdown rules.

Obviously, COVID and canoodling don’t mix even in the sleazy Boris Johnson government. But Hancock can take heart from our own Barnaby affair that a sin-bin in politics is not always forever.

What sort of penalty do you think misbehaving politicians should pay? Write to letters@crikey.com.au, and don’t forget to include your full name if you’d like to be considered for publication.