(Image: Tom Red/Private Media)

It’s beginning to look a lot like election time. With a poll on the cards for March or May next year, both parties are slimming their already lightweight policy platforms into a series of cringe three-word slogans to be repeated ad nauseam over the next few months. Here’s a quick guide to a few of the current (and former) buzzwords.

The current

“Choices not mandates”: This is one of Prime Minister Scott Morrison’s go-to lines when talking up his “plan” to reach net zero emissions by 2050. Ostensibly it’s about drawing a distinction between the government and Labor: the latter will reduce emissions by forcing you to do stuff, the former will reduce emissions by *gestures wildly at the private sector* hoping other people do stuff.

It’s a weird choice of words, with a more coded double meaning. Until a few weeks ago, Morrison had almost never used the term “mandate”. Since then, it’s been a constant catchphrase. At the same time, opposition to vaccine mandates is an issue among some conservative voters, especially the reactionary grifters protesting in Victoria. It’s been taken up by senators like Gerard Rennick on the Coalition’s hard right fringe. So yes, this slogan might be about climate, but the choice of words looks like a subtle wink at people who might vote for One Nation or the United Australia Party.

“Technology not taxes”: a more straightforward reference to the Coalition’s approach to climate change, which has been a constant slogan for some time. The government will lower emissions through cool new technology, some of which hasn’t been invented yet. Labor will just tax you to misery. Choose wisely, voters. 

The irony is that hidden in the fine print of the government’s own net zero modelling (released quietly on Friday afternoon as is customary) is a concession that the target can’t be reached without… a price on carbon. Not to mention that all that investment in special technology comes from taxpayers’ money.

“Can-do capitalism”: Still in its testing phase, this weird term hasn’t been seen since Morrison dropped it in a speech to the Victorian Chamber of Commerce and Industry last week. 

“We believe climate change will ultimately be solved by ‘can-do capitalism’ not ‘don’t-do governments’” Morrison said.

Once again, there’s a theme here: the government not doing anything to reduce emissions is good actually, because the alternative under Labor is much more scary. Of course the “don’t-do government” is up to its neck in subsidising the fossil fuel industry. Once again, a deeply weird phrase.

“The Australian Way”: This was the name of Morrison’s net zero “plan”. Deliberately dials up the parochial nationalism, and frames critics of Australia’s climate performance, many of whom are external, as foreigners who disrespect our sovereignty and simply don’t get it.

NB: We went looking for Labor’s current buzzwords, but right now they don’t seem to have anything they’re pushing quite as hard as the government. On the one hand, it’s good they’re not just doing three-word slogans. On the other, will this help solve their struggle with cut-through? We’ll know soon enough.

The retired

“Scott Morrison had two jobs — hotel quarantine and the vaccine rollout”: This was Labor’s line for much of 2021, getting more airtime as the Delta strain ripped through an under-vaccinated population and put millions into months of lockdown. But it always had a limited shelf-life, especially since Morrison has control over when we go to the polls. Once the rollout started surging, and NSW led the way in making hotel quarantine redundant, it began to look pretty dated.

“It’s not a race”: Probably one of the most ill-fated things Morrison said all year. In the early days of 2021, as the vaccine rollout sputtered, he actually said it a lot. True to form, he tried to claim he didn’t actually say it, and it was health secretary Brendan Murphy’s fault. By August, Morrison had finally found a way to salvage the cursed line:

“It doesn’t matter how you start the race, it’s how you finish,” he said. Now we’re at the finish line, he’s banking on it working on an electorate with short memories.