(Image: Private Media)

Dear Leslie,

I am so appalled and upset by what is happening in Ukraine. To see the bombs and the women and children running and being killed — it’s so upsetting. Why isn’t our government doing more to stop Putin? And what can I do to help?

Taken to Bed

Dear Taken to Bed,

I know. It is completely horrible. I can’t even bear to watch the misery on the screen, it’s too dismaying, though I do keep up with events via radio and podcasts.

But here’s the thing. If you’re a basket case, you’re no good to the Ukrainians or anyone else. So, please consider limiting your exposure to news about the war to once daily, which is more than enough for those at a distance. For sensational imagery that tends to go viral, I’d suggest avoiding this altogether, especially if you’re like me and can end up traumatised by an image you then can’t get out of your head!

The Australian government has done quite a few things to punish Russia for its aggression. In concert with allies, we’ve sanctioned Russian entities (like the Central Bank of Russia and Russia’s armed forces) and Russian oligarchs (who act as “oligarch trustees” of President Vladimir Putin’s enormous wealth). Some of Australian’s biggest super funds have divested from Russian assets, and from next month the importation of Russian petroleum products is banned. We joined with other ministers of sport to restrict Russia, Belarus and their citizens from hosting, competing or receiving sponsorship for sporting events.

To help Ukraine we’ve given an automatic six-month visa extension to all Ukrainians in the country, fast tracked the more than 400 outstanding visa applications from Ukrainians, provided $35 million in humanitarian assistance and $70 million in lethal military assistance. The government has joined our allies in writing pretty-please letters to the moguls running Google, Meta, Twitter, TikTok, etc, to do what SBS and Foxtel have done already — take Russian disinformation off the air.

Could we do more? Yes, and on the sanctions front we almost certainly will, as the program is designed to escalate alongside Putin’s war crimes. You can pitch in, too, though PLEASE follow the government’s recommendations about trustworthy places to donate, so scammers don’t relieve you of your hard-earned cash.

Take care,

Leslie

Dear Leslie,

Just wanted your take on my family, who aren’t what I thought. At Christmas, everyone was pretty sure my uncle and aunt weren’t vaccinated. But when my girlfriend — who has health problems — and I showed up on the day, it turned out no one had even asked. Then, my dad went out with them the other night and my aunt showed a fake vaccination certificate to get in, and my uncle managed to talk his way into the place (which is so him). Why won’t anyone stand up to these two?

Disillusioned

Hi Disillusioned,

Thanks for writing in. You’re right, there seems to be a fair whack of conflict-avoidance going down. This is common in all families, particularly where relationships can be brittle, often because of past issues that have not been surfaced and worked through. But it can be particularly acute in Australian families because — in general — we are a conflict-avoidant culture.

I’m not sure who you thought would or should do the asking. But if it’s your dad who has let you down, I invite you to consider his perspective. If your uncle and aunt are not persuadable, which the extreme lengths to which they’ve gone to avoid the consequences for their unvaccinated status suggests is the case, he may reason that the only benefit of confronting the issue head-on is a strained relationship with a sibling.

Can I ask why you haven’t raised the issue with your uncle and aunt? I get that you might still see your uncle as scary and untouchable — like all adults we knew when we were small — but the truth is that you are an adult now, too. And if you’re concerned about you or your girlfriend being around unvaccinated people — and don’t think you should have to be the one to miss subsequent gatherings to stay safe — then you may have to do the talking, or writing (I find putting words to paper leads to more considered exchanges). That is, if you’re braver or more optimistic than the rest of your family about how the exchange will go.

Good luck with this challenging situation.

Leslie

Send your dilemmas to letters@crikey.com.au with “Dear Leslie” in the subject line and you could get a reply from Dr Cannold in this column. We reserve the right to edit letters for length and clarity.