MEMEFIED MORRISON’S MINISTRIES
Former deputy prime minister Michael McCormack knew that then prime minister Scott Morrison had sworn himself into the Resources portfolio last year, according to Keith Pitt. The former resources minister made the revelation under scrutiny last night on ABC’s Q&A — McCormack was the leader of the Nationals until late June 2021 when he was toppled by his predecessor, Barnaby Joyce. That the deputy prime minister was in on at least one of the secret ministries Morrison held is “extraordinary”, a shocked Minister for Emergency Management and Agriculture Murray Watt said, continuing that the Liberal PM muscling in on the portfolio undermines the Coalition agreement (Pitt is a National MP). But Pitt stood by his man — he said he did not support calls for Morrison to resign, though he’d welcome an inquiry into the whole saga. Yesterday Opposition Leader Peter Dutton distanced himself from the matter too, saying he would have told Morrison it was “inappropriate for him to be assuming this power”, the AFR reports. Hmm… remember in 2017 when Dutton was given the unprecedented super-department of Home Affairs, which swallowed the Department of Immigration and Border Protection, as well as national security, emergency management and criminal justice functions? But I digress.
It comes as Morrison has gone full daggy dad in replying to memes posted about his five secret ministerial positions, news.com.au reports. A band called Eaten Alive said he had “secretly become our vocalist” to which Morrison responded: “That’s funny.” A Melbourne arborist business wrote that he’d started working with them, to which he replied: “What time do you need me for my first shift?” The former PM posted to his own page that “it’s been fun joining in on all the memes”, and he “can’t keep up”. (Crikey has rounded up the memes from politicians too, which had, erm, varying levels of comedic effect.) Are Morrison’s replies a true Aussie larrikin move, or him purposefully trivialising his own disregard for our democracy, probably to resuscitate his personal image for some lucrative private sector job? Worm reader, as always, you decide.
[free_worm]
WOMEN’S WORK
Queensland’s top cop says sexism is rampant among the senior ranks of the state police force, The Courier-Mail ($) reports. Police commissioner Katarina Carroll apologised after it was revealed two senior police had made sexist comments during a senior leader’s conference. In one instance, a superintendent (who was later promoted to chief superintendent) yelled: “Did she shut her legs on you?” and joked it had been a “rough promotional process” in regards to a presenter’s face stitches, the Brisbane Times continues. Carroll told an inquiry she was “upset and appalled”, agreeing that misogynistic and disrespectful views towards women were “infecting” how Queensland cops respond to family and domestic violence. Meanwhile, the federal government has accelerated a $10 million funding boost to family, domestic and sexual violence in the NT, the NT News reports. NT’s Minister for Domestic, Family and Sexual Violence Kate Worden added that the NT’s domestic homicide rate is six times the national average, and domestic and family violence-related assaults are three times the national average.
If you or someone you know is impacted by sexual assault or violence, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 or visit 1800RESPECT.org.au. In an emergency, call 000.
In Western Australia now, and the state has the largest gender pay gap in Australia as of May 2022, according to data from the Australian Bureau of Statistics. There is a whopping 22.4% difference in male and female earnings, equating to an average of $471.70. Countrywide, men earn $263.90 more than women each week, WA Today continues, and it’s actually increased during the past six months. Why? More women are working, but they’re working in the lowest paid sectors of hospitality and retail, the paper says. Women in South Australia (7.4%) and Tasmania (7.5%) had the lowest gender wage gaps but they are also the two lowest-paid states.
GETTING A LIFT
Doctors will call Ubers for patients under a new service launched this week called “Uber Health”, The Age reports. Health professionals would book the rides and foot the bill, so the patient would not need to use the app. Uber says it will be useful for appointments, sending patients home, and transporting folks in the NDIS, but not for emergency transport. It also wouldn’t be used for people with COVID-19. Is it weird that Uber will have access to health data now too? Former chair of the Australian Privacy Foundation’s health subcommittee Juanita Fernando says so, arguing weak data laws in Australia leave patients vulnerable. Plus ambulance services already use taxis to transport people — in 2020-21, Victoria moved 9600 passengers this way.
In other transport news this morning, a new report from Climateworks Centre has found each of us could save $1300 a year in petrol and maintenance costs if we embrace electric vehicles (EV), The Driven reports. It comes as Bank Australia will encourage us to go electric by reportedly banning loans for fossil fuel cars in three years, Guardian Australia reports. The customer-owned bank, which has 185,000 customers, will give loans for second-hand fossil fuel cars though. The EV chatter comes ahead of the landmark EV summit today, as AFR reports — Climate Change and Energy Minister Chris Bowen is set to argue for a penalty on the sale of internal combustion engine cars, saying we could drive down the cost of living if we ditch “inefficient cars”. But, Bowen says, we need cheaper EV options — he’ll release a paper about how we can get more models in the market costing less than $60,000. In the UK, there are 26 to choose from under that amount.
ON A LIGHTER NOTE
The mayor of Venice is not exactly known as a wallflower. Last week, Luigi Brugnaro publically called for a Scottish man who stripped down for a quick dip in the world-famous canals of the Italian city to go to jail. Brugnaro’s protective of the aquatic city — and with Airbnb moving Venetians out, the ongoing risk of rising water, and the throngs of tourists who flock to the city of lurve, one can see why. But when he saw footage of two guys surfing the canal, the hot-headed Italian reached the end of his tether. The mayor tweeted that he compelled everyone to help identify the “two overbearing idiots”, and “punish them, even if our weapons are really blunt”, continuing that mayors “urgently need more powers”. Cripes. Someone get that guy a cup of la camomilla tea.
Brugnaro called the surfers a “mockery” of the city — check out the footage and judge for yourself. Some agreed with the mayor, but others said it looked kind of cool. To be honest, and I hope I don’t sound too sacrilegious, it does look kind of cool — the guys are on electric boards and surfing off into what appears to be the beginnings of dusk, that gorgeous golden Italian light paving their way ahead. And besides, it wasn’t that long ago that big cruise liners blared their way into Venice’s waters — they were officially banned last year. Nevertheless, an irate Brugnaro continued in his tweet, if the culprits are found he offers a bounty of one dinner in Venice to their captors. Bellissimo.
Hoping the smiles come easily today, folks, and have a restful weekend ahead.
SAY WHAT?
All you got to do is put on a cool shirt, take a shower, bring your laptop, I’m gonna show you exactly what to do.
Fatman Scoop
That sounds pretty good. I don’t know what I’m doing on the 11th of November.
Anthony Albanese
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Did the prime minister just agree to DJ while Fatman Scoop performs in Brisbane? Albo continued that he would “talk to my people” and asked the American rapper if he had his phone number. Seems like only yesterday that his predecessor Scott Morrison apologised for using an explicit Fatman Scoop song in a video of MPs raising their hands.
CRIKEY RECAP
The best (and worst) of the secret minister memes from Australian politicians
“Greens Senator Sarah Hanson-Young won the day, however, by bringing our minds back to not one but two WTF moments in Liberal Party history. First, when Scott Morrison thought that crowds of protesters at the 2021 March for Justice should consider themselves lucky they weren’t “met with bullets”.
“Something, we presume, he thinks only possible in countries with tin-pot dictators who have full control of power and openly flout basic transparency. Second, when, y’know, the Liberal leader we all thought was going to go down in history as the weirdest of the 21st century, Tony Abbott, did in fact declare himself Minister for Women. Hey, at least he told us!”
The Manchurian president’s worst act yet
“That means Americans must assume that whatever is in those documents is now known to their enemies. This doesn’t just include US secrets, but ones America may have intercepted from its enemies or allies — including Australia. Plus, that the technical and signal collection capabilities that would have cost billions of dollars to put into place has been compromised, and that the risky and laborious process of re-establishing it must be invested in all over again.
“These are the dangers and costs we can safely assume Donald Trump has exposed the American people to now. But if the Justice Department keeps looking, the damage may stretch further. To whatever transactions Trump intended, conducted or was planning to conduct with foreign adversaries for a price.”
Looks like nothing can save the governor-general this time either
“Ben Rose writes: Morrison was an unsuitable person to be PM. His extreme evangelical take on Christianity must have included thinking God led him to ‘self appoint’ on this bizarre scale. Religious extremism is damaging and I say this as a practising orthodox Christian.
“As for the governor-general, he compromised himself. He should be an expert on Westminster conventions and have the character to uphold them. It is believable that he may have thought Morrison would make his first self appointment public. But when he didn’t do that, surely Hurley should have heard alarm bells and refused the subsequent ones. The G-G is just as culpable as Morrison but for different reasons. He should resign now or be sacked.”
READ ALL ABOUT IT
Solomon Islands signs $100 million Huawei deal (The Age)
Ukrainian attacks in Crimea weaken Russia’s military capacity (Al Jazeera)
Allen Weisselberg, a top Trump executive, pleads guilty in tax scheme (The New York Times)
Human remains found in suitcases were two young children, New Zealand police say (The Guardian)
Sir Salman Rushdie attack suspect ‘only read two pages’ of Satanic Verses (BBC)
At least 38 people killed as ‘tornado of fire’ rages in northern Algeria (The Guardian)
THE COMMENTARIAT
Albanese’s budget woes may harm Andrews’ chances of a third term — Annika Smethurst (The Age): “After years of complaining about being short-changed on infrastructure, Labor sources say the state government was banking on a significant contribution from Canberra to help it build the suburban rail loop. The urgency is greater given the state Parliament’s budget office estimates the cost of building the first two stages of the suburban rail loop is now expected to cost up to $125 billion — more than double the government’s initial estimate for the entire project.
“So far, Albanese has offered up $2.2 billion for the eastern section, well short of what the Andrews government would like. Any more cash will hinge on an independent assessment of the plan by Infrastructure Australia, which Albanese established as infrastructure minister. With hospital beds full, patients queued outside, the state government is also desperate for a long-term funding solution from Canberra to help it turn around its buckling health system. Albanese has already bowed to the demands of the states and agreed to extend its increased health funding for COVID for six months until December, meaning it will expire one month after polling day leaving voters to ask, so what’s next?”
Dial down the heated dinner party rhetoric — you don’t need to have an opinion on everything — Brigid Delaney (Guardian Australia): “Having a strong opinion on everything creates a volatile, febrile atmosphere where you are constantly stating, defending and arguing your opinion, often on platforms such as Twitter where context has been collapsed in 280 characters. The opinion becomes tied to the ego, your opinion becomes you — and so an attack on your opinion is an attack on the very fibre of your being. So, vigilant and anxious, you must defend opinion as you would defend yourself. This then creates a binary: people who agree with you are good and people who disagree are bad.
“By leaving things alone, by not getting worked up, we are not adding to the toxic load of disagreement, hate and fury online, which of course seeps into people’s real life. It’s liberating when you relinquish the need to be right all the time. The ability to wheel back on your positions, to take in new information, to see a different point of view, be curious about alternatives, to say “I was wrong” or “I’ve changed my mind” is to erode those hard binaries, the us v them that so many of us have found ourselves stuck in over the last few years. When you put down your weapons, relax and have nothing to prove, then you can work towards a consensus on the big issues.”
HOLD THE FRONT PAGE
WHAT’S ON TODAY
Ngunnawal Country (also known as Canberra)
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Energy Minister Chris Bowen, Tesla’s Robyn Denholm, Minister for Industry and Science Ed Husic, Atlassian’s Mike Cannon–Brookes, COP26 President Alok Sharma, NSW Treasurer and Energy Minister Matt Kean, NZ Minister of Immigration, Transport and Workplace Relations Michael Wood, Goldstein MP Zoe Daniel and Kooyong MP Monique Ryan will all speak at the National EV Summit held by the federal government.
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Australian government solicitor lawyer Tim Begbie will discuss how classified government information is protected in court proceedings in a seminar at ANU.
Eora Nation Country (also known as Sydney)
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Author Katharine Pollock will speak about her new book, Her Fidelity, at Glee Books.
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