(Image: Mitchell Squire/Private Media)

Like the “quiet Australians” and the “forgotten people” before them, “quiet quitters” have seized their moment in the sun and can’t wait to tell you all about it.

So what is quiet quitting?

It’s an individual and collective response to disempowerment and disrespect in the workplace. Quiet quitters discreetly withdraw their enthusiasm and do the bare minimum. But unlike during the “great resignation” of 2021, where more than 4 million Americans left their jobs, quiet quitters choose to hold their nose and pocket their pay cheque.

Despite the recent torrent of op-eds and panel show discussions, quiet quitting is hardly a new phenomenon. Instead it’s a TikTok rebrand of well-established workplace coping strategies such as phoning-it-in, starfishing, lepathy and Idontcareatarianism. In fact, history is littered with real and fictional examples of quiet quitters, including these serial absentees.

Greg Hunt

Unlike his colleagues, former health minister Greg Hunt was fully aware that then prime minister Scott Morrison had commandeered his ministerial powers. It’s hard to imagine Hunt being exhilarated by this development, yet there were no discernible hissy fits or dummy spits. He simply turned up for work as usual — smiling, waving and getting paid. Which makes him one of Australia’s best-known quiet quitters.

Lynne Postlethwaite

Lynne Postlethwaite, one of Magda Szubanski’s most celebrated characters, is perhaps the finest example of quiet quitting Australia has ever produced. Her barely concealed scorn for her job, her family, and her workmates have made her a poster girl for the serially oppressed and overlooked. Though not technically quiet, Postlethwaite’s capacity to extract a wage without breaking a sweat, literal or metaphorical, is sublime and inspiring.

ALP left

Spare a thought for these heart-bleeding true believers who struggled through the long, bleak years of opposition only to be sidelined by an unholy confluence of dire economic circumstances, international conflict, and being in a party partially owned by the fossil fuel industry. Their socialist utopia deferred, now all they can do is nod and brood and grow their super as gas mines are opened — and arguably damaging tax cuts for high-income earners are given the tick.

Julie Bishop

The Liberal Party’s hardwired misogyny meant Julie Bishop knew she was never going to become leader, a fact that surely gave the competent, popular and ambitious Western Australian the roaring shits. For her sins, she ended up playing second banana to three Liberal leaders. Eventually she pulled the pin — but not before spending the best part of a decade dancing on the world stage (sometimes literally) and hobnobbing with Bono, Elon Musk, Bill Gates and the rest of Team Davos. She’d never admit it, but her career is proof that quiet quitting isn’t limited to grumpy office workers and burnt-out school teachers. It can be done just as well by red-shoed jetsetters at the pointiest end of the plane.

The Holy Ghost

Lacking the authority of the Father or the charisma of the Son, the Holy Ghost is perhaps the first example of quiet quitting. While still technically part of the Holy Trinity, no one really knows what it does and even non-believers can sense the passive-aggressive vibes.

George Harrison

George Harrison was a quiet-quitting guru. Just ask anyone who sat through all 489 hours of Peter Jackson’s The Beatles: Get Back documentary. “I’ll play anything you want me to play, Paul. Or I won’t play at all if you don’t want me to play. Now, whatever it is that will please you, I’ll do it,” George said, smiling through clenched teeth.

Sidekicks

Nowhere is the scourge of quiet quitting more prevalent and pronounced than in the world of sidekicks. If your name comes after the “and” in a legendary partnership, it’s going to rub eventually. Robin never drove the Batmobile. John Oates never sang lead on “Maneater”. Did they quit? No. They turned up every day, did the basics, and smiled wanly while dying inside. See also: Simon and Garfunkel, Pooh and Piglet, Hamish and Andy, Wallace and Gromit and the Liberal and National parties of Australia, past and present.