Dorinda Cox, Adam Bandt, partner Claudia Perkins, and Sarah Hanson-Young during the midwinter ball (Image: AAP/Jane Dempster)
Dorinda Cox, Adam Bandt, partner Claudia Perkins, and Sarah Hanson-Young during the Midwinter Ball (Image: AAP/Jane Dempster)

The Midwinter Ball: self-described as the “premier social event on the political calendar”, it’s an evening for underpaid journalists to pretend, just for a night, that they earn anything close to a staffer’s salary. Journalists were told in opening addresses that finally, for once, it was a “night about us” (ignoring the scores of egomaniacal award ceremonies that take place every few months).

The theme was disco, with disco balls on every table and hanging from every fixture, gold sequined tablecloths and disco queen Marcia Hines performing in a glittery jumpsuit. Several politicians got wind of the theme early enough to plan their outfits: Senator Jacquie Lambie, independent Kate Chaney, and Prime Minister Anthony Albanese’s partner Jodie Haydon all came in sequined dresses.

Bob Katter — who arrived without his wide-brimmed hat — asked if Crikey was “the TikTok app”. Liberal staffers said they’d enjoyed Crikey’s Cam Wilson’s political landlords piece, comparing where ministers had ranked. We got no closer to finding out which staffer was behind Sussan Ley’s abominable “It won’t be easy under Kermit the Froganese” social media video.

Crikey also got a shout-out in ABC satirist Mark Humphries’ speech, with Humphries urging journalists at the charity event to “drop a coin in their hat” to help us in the legal fight against Lachlan Murdoch.

A small gathering of Extinction Rebellion protesters gathered outside Parliament, demonstrating against sponsors of the ball including Shell and Woodside Energy, as well as lobbying groups Hawker Britton and Nexus APAC Group, who represent fossil fuel clients. They were joined by Greens Leader Adam Bandt and senators Lidia Thorpe and Jordon Steele-John.

Journalists were reminded that the companies sponsored “just 7%” of the entire ball and few jokes were levelled at them. Two large screens on either side of the stage displayed the logos of PayPal, Coca-Cola, Salesforce and Westpac, among others.

Senator Sarah Hanson-Young and Bandt’s partner Claudia Perkins each paid homage to US politician Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez by wearing dresses emblazoned with anti-gas and coal messages. Hanson-Young was one of the last to leave the dancefloor, though other MPs high-tailed it out of there by 11pm, with staffers and journalists kicking on until close at 12.30pm.

Speeches were off the record. They’ve historically been leaked — with one address by former prime minister Malcolm Turnbull, where he gave a less-than-flattering imitation of Donald Trump, going viral in 2017. While former prime minister Scott Morrison allowed his speech to be filmed at the last ball in 2019, Albanese’s spinners let press gallery members know the same freedoms wouldn’t be allowed this year. Morrison was the butt of the joke in multiple speeches but was a no-show to the event.

Albanese was seated with Senate president Sue Lines, Ukraine’s ambassador to Australia Vasyl Myroshnychenko and his wife Liana, while Woodside executives were stationed with Labor’s Julian Hill and Tracey Roberts, the Liberal Nationals’ Susan McDonald and the Nationals’ Keith Pitt. Independent Dai Le didn’t make an appearance — apparently, one viral photo in a statement dress was all she needed.

The Midwinter Ball has raised more than $4 million for charities, with people bidding online for a game of tennis with the prime minister, dinner with Foreign Minister Penny Wong and Environment Minister Tanya Plibersek, dinner with teal independents, and a night watching cricket with Opposition Leader Peter Dutton.

This year $350,000 was raised, with $100,000 going to the Australian Federation of Ukrainian Organisations and $70,000 to both Rural Aid Australia and OzHarvest Australia.

The Saturday Paper’s Karen Middleton took home the Press Gallery Journalist of the Year.

The Midwinter Ball: a justified indulgence or a waste of time and money? Let us know your thoughts by writing to letters@crikey.com.au. Please include your full name to be considered for publication. We reserve the right to edit for length and clarity.