Bin chickens, swine and truculent runts: great moments in (un)parliamentary animals

“[The Liberals are] shrieking like a mob of political bin chickens, scratching around for relevance.”

Assistant Treasurer Stephen Jones got probably exactly what he wanted out of that zinger in question time yesterday — suppressed guffaws from a group of schoolkids visiting Parliament. He wasn’t even forced to withdraw the comment as “unparliamentary”, which put Crikey in mind of some great moments in parliamentary (or otherwise) language.

You don’t have to swear for your language to be deemed unparliamentary. To call an MP a “liar” is considered unparliamentary — which might explain why Scott Morrison, for all his issues with the truth, was only called a “liar” outside of Parliament.

“Bin chicken” is only the latest in a series of animal comparisons, which the late historian Ken Inglis once noted is a major theme of parliamentary abuse:

As the constitutional crisis of 1975 moved towards its climax, Souter reports, ‘the Senate rang with epithets like ‘dingo’, ‘swine’, ‘mongrel’ and ‘cur”.

… ‘A cur and a skunk,’ senator Justin O’Byrne called the leader of the opposition, Reg Withers, in 1973, and added for good measure that senator Gair was a toad. Ordered to moderate his language, senator O’Byrne changed ‘toad’ to ‘bullfrog’, saying, ‘90% frog — and 10% bull’.

But cuter animals can be unparliamentary too. The use of “Dumbo” was ordered withdrawn in 1997, despite senator Bob Collins’ argument that it was intended affectionately: “Dumbo is a lovable creature with big ears — Dumbo the flying elephant”. (The deputy president responded that this clarification wasn’t helpful.)

Famously, in 1965, external affairs minister Paul Hasluck called then deputy opposition leader Gough Whitlam “one of the filthiest objects ever to come into this chamber”. In addition to flinging the contents of his glass at Hasluck, Whitlam was heard calling Hasluck a “truculent runt” — but he later conceded what he actually said might have been a bit rougher. The phrase was obviously a favourite of Whitlam’s: he’d previously deployed it in 1960 against then attorney-general Sir Garfield Barwick, who apparently left the chamber in tears.

Where do bin chickens rank in the history of parliamentary insults? Any favourite jabs we’ve missed? Let us know your thoughts by writing to letters@crikey.com.au. Please include your full name to be considered for publication. We reserve the right to edit for length and clarity.