Anthony Albanese 2022 federal election
Prime Minister Anthony Albanese (Image: AP/Rick Rycroft)

COOLER HEADS PREVAIL

Despite much noise from the Coalition and its allies in the fossil fuel industry, the Labor government’s energy bill to cap prices and fund rebates is now legislated, as Guardian Australia reports. The opposition stayed true to itself and… opposed it from start to finish. Opposition Leader Peter Dutton called it “catastrophic” and a “massive con job”, claiming that legislation was being made up on the fly (quite literally): “This plane is still being built midair.” Prime Minister Anthony Albanese said he was “stunned” the Coalition refused to jump on board and urged the gas industry in the interests of future investment to stop “talking themselves down”. On top of the power package, the Labor government also wound back a 2015 Abbott era law that counted burning wood waste as renewable energy, adds Guardian Australia.

Outside the chamber, in Palau, senior Coalition frontbencher Simon Birmingham conceded that his former government’s failure to up the ante on combatting climate change and embracing more ambitious targets hurt Australia’s standing in the Pacific, the AFR ($) reports. Lessons must be learnt, he said. (Based on yesterday’s parliamentary performance, lessons do not appear to have been learnt.)

Back home in the public service, top News Corp executive Siobhan McKenna has taken over from Lucio Di Bartolomeo as chair of Australia Post, writes the SMH ($), while at a state level, Resilience NSW boss Shane Fitzsimmons will be shown the door today after the Perrottet government decided to dissolve the disaster management agency, says the SMH ($). Nuclear, however, is (back) on the NSW table, The Canberra Times reports. The premier claimed he was excited by international developments in fusion technology and “open” to the idea of crafting something closer to home.

[free_worm]

REMEMBER THEM

Thousands gathered at Melbourne’s Sidney Myer Music Bowl last night for a state memorial to celebrate the “life, loves and art” of Gunditjmara Bundjalung man Uncle Archie Roach AM, SBS reports. There were moving tributes and much music to document the hurt and pain caused by the Stolen Generations and “the path Roach had laid for Blak artists”.

His older sister Aunty Myrtle Roach said he was a “gift” to her: “I am proud of him. He chose to fight, to survive.” The ABC captured the evening in full, including a “profound apology” from Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews on behalf of his government for the “forced removal from your family, from your country, community, culture and language”. Aunty Myrtle accepted it on her brother’s behalf, extending the sorry to “all my brothers and sisters who do not get one”, the SMH ($) writes.

Today also marks the one-year anniversary of the Hillcrest jumping castle tragedy in which six primary school children died, the ABC reports. An end-of-year school celebration turned into disaster when a freak gust of wind lifted the jumping castle into the air. The community continues to grapple with grief, writes news.com.au. About a dozen first responders remain on mental health leave and 174 members of emergency services continue to receive care. A joint public inquest into the deaths will be held next year.

FERAL FLORA AND FAUNA

Dear oh dear. Experts are anticipating the “next rabbit plague” will be feral deer unless something is done to stymie their spread, Guardian Australia reports. Since the turn of the century, Bambi and his hoofed friends have grown their ranks in Australia by a factor of 10. Go back another 20 years and it’s between 20- and 40-fold — the nation had 50,000 deer in 1980 but 1 million to 2 million in 2022.

Environment groups and some land managers say unless we move fast to create “containment zones” we’re on track for “wall-to-wall deer across the continent”. Why does it matter? They gorge and don’t tread carefully, which means they wreak havoc on vegetation and cultural sites, cause erosion, and degrade water quality. Plus a lack of self-control means many tip 200 kilograms on the scales. This makes them a “major road safety risk”. Consider your car totalled.

On the other side of the animal kingdom, contaminated spinach has hospitalised nine Sydneysiders, writes the ABC. The Riviera Farms-brand spinach sold courtesy of Costco was not set to expire until today, but it’s fair to say something was off — the leafy greens induced “hallucinations, delirium, rapid heartbeat and blurred vision”.  According to Riviera Farms, it’s believed that the spinach was accidentally packaged as a bag of mixed leaves. The culprit? A toxic weed “which can have health consequences if consumed”.

ON A LIGHTER NOTE

Keeping up with the latest lingo can feel like a full-time job, especially when such words wind up in the workplace. To ensure intergenerational mistranslations are avoided, The Washington Post has compiled a six-part checklist for boomers, gen X, and millennials on gen Z vernacular. One scenario entails a gen Z worker reacting to a comment with a skull emoji. Could it be laughter, end of life, destruction, or a niche year-round reference to Halloween? Expert advice is to avoid literal thinking: “The comment was so funny that the person is dying/dead.” Grave.

Meanwhile the smiley emoji is naturally not so smiley in the eyes of gen Z. It operates on a shade-of-grey spectrum ranging from genuine happiness to passive aggression. In short: it depends entirely on how much the lips curl and the eyes close. Full stops are also laden with emotion. (I hope my tone shone through there.)

Experts say that finishing a sentence with a period is done AT YOUR OWN RISK. Unless it’s an exclamation or question mark, of course. Are you keeping up? If you’ve made it this far, your gen Z colleague might say “slay”. Are they telling you to grab your hunting kit and go kill something? Of course not. It means: “You’re killing it.”

Hoping you find new meaning in something today, folks.

SAY WHAT?

So you’re going to have Bowen and Bandt rocking up at your door [knock, knock, knock, knock on the lectern], spanners in hand. Let me take out your cooktop … and your gas BBQ. Ah, there goes the BBQ. If you’ve got a gas bottle in the shed because you like to go camping on the weekends, they’re going to take that away as well.

Bridget McKenzie

The Nationals senator aired all sorts of unfounded claims during debate on Labor’s power package (which later passed into law). McKenzie accused the government of “institutional gaslighting” (perhaps an attempt at a pun?), called the Greens socialists, and appeared to confuse even herself with interjections. “What’s the point of order?” demanded the Senate president. “Well to be honest, I didn’t really have one,” McKenzie conceded. All in all, a good day for the Coalition.

CRIKEY RECAP

Crikey Arsehat of the Year 2022 — the nominees

Dec 15, 2022

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“Welcome to Crikey‘s 2022 end-of-year awards, the most glorious and prestigious in Australia — probably the world. The first and by far the most coveted is Crikey‘s Arsehat of the Year, the gong that goes to the person who did the best work in being the worst …

“We hate to kick a guy when he’s down, but if this list is to mean anything, Morrison simply has to be on it again. Leading the Coalition to crushing defeat and squishing that young lad was bad enough. But then via his need for control, secrecy and desire for an uncomplicated hagiography, he brought about a fresh, gleaming, gigantic scandal.”

It took Scott Morrison many hours and a wall of words to blame others for robodebt

Dec 15, 2022

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“Morrison spent several hours in the witness chair at the robodebt royal commission into the scheme on Wednesday offering explanations. Here’s why he allowed robodebt to continue …

“Morrison told the commission the ‘critical failure’ was that legal advice sought by bureaucrats before he took charge ‘was never brought to the attention of ministers’.”

‘Asshole’, ‘jackass’, ‘arrogant prick’: a potted history of politicians’ hot mic moments

Dec 15, 2022

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“To some it was an embarrassing, unguarded gaffe which may shape the outcome of a coming election. To many, it was nothing less than an inspired moment of unvarnished honesty and irreverence.

“Whatever your view of Jacinda Ardern’s reference to a political opponent as an ‘arrogant prick’ a few days ago, one thing is clear: the chances are the New Zealand prime minister won’t be the last politician to inadvertently tell us how it is — or at least give us a glimpse into their cheeky side. Here’s a selection of Crikey’s favourite hot mic biscuits.”

READ ALL ABOUT IT

Fijian opposition leaders demand recount of election votes after app glitch (ABC)

Jacinda Ardern joins rival to raise money for ‘pricks everywhere’ after Parliament jibe (SBS News)

Tokyo makes solar panels mandatory for new homes built after 2025 (Reuters)

Middle East round-up: public hanging in Iran seen as message (Al Jazeera)

An alternate reality: how Russia’s state TV spins the Ukraine War (The New York Times)

Twitter suspends account monitoring Elon Musk’s flight paths (The Guardian)

Tom Hanks was on Pelosi attack suspect hit list, court hears (BBC)

Exclusive: the global supply trail that leads to Russia’s killer drones (Reuters)

Chinese doctors and nurses reportedly told to work while infected as COVID surges (The Guardian)

THE COMMENTARIAT

It’s high time we legislated governing principles for the digital age — Rod Sims (AFR) ($): “We are now in the midst of the digital age. We are rightly dazzled by what search apps and social media can deliver; services unimaginable not so long ago. But we are only slowly realising that the many associated harms can and should be dealt with, as they are in more mature markets …

“The old ‘buyer beware’ approach simply cannot work; consumers can only avoid potholes if they can see them. The competition harms may be less obvious but can be equally damaging.”

Think you have a handle on Christmas this year? Congratulations: you’re lying to yourself — Jack Vening (Guardian Australia): “Well, it’s almost here. One day you’re thinking Woolies is trying to sneak the decorations out a little early, the next you look up and Jesus is sprinting at you full-speed, wielding a leg of ham like a mace and demanding to know what you got him for his birthday. It’s Christmas, and it’s time to have a little crisis about it.

“If this season isn’t at least partially stressful for you then you’re probably the reason Christmas is several times more stressful for someone close to you. It’s meant to be stressful — crises are meant to spring from it like whatever the fruit is that springs from mistletoe.”

HOLD THE FRONT PAGE

The Latest Headlines

WHAT’S ON TODAY

Eora Nation Country (also known as Sydney)

  • Fire and Rescue NSW to announce the inclusion of Indigenous place names on its trucks today with a Welcome to Country and smoking ceremony at the Emergency Services Academy.

Turrbal and Jagera/Yuggera Country (also known as Brisbane)

  • Aboriginal Art Co will showcase the work of Aboriginal, Munburra/Nywaigi and Torres Strait, Meriam woman Boneta-Marie Mabo. Titled Colonial Seeds, the exhibition features paintings of plants seeded by the First Fleet.

Yidinji Country (also known as Cairns)

  • The Pressing Topics exhibition opens today at Northsite gallery in Bulmba-ja Arts Centre. Described as a “low-fi wonderland”, the multi-media installation of projection, sculpture, digital collage, video and sound is the work of artists Melania Jack and Patty Preece.