The carnival is over: the most Morrison appointment of all time exits the Arena

In the aftermath of Scott Morrison beating out Julie Bishop and Peter Dutton to replace Malcolm Turnbull as Australia’s prime minister, he reportedly ended his first full party meeting as leader by calling Bishop aside … and asking her for Tina Arena’s phone number.

So if we are to take a cue from Eric Hobsbawm’s approach to history, dividing events by “ages” characterised by the preponderance of certain ideas and classes of events, rather than, say, monarchic or parliamentary reigns — the “short 20th century” between 1914 and 1991, for example, or the dual revolutions that dominated Europe between 1789 and 1848 — it can be said the “age of Scott Morrison” truly came to an end this week.

Yesterday it was announced that Arena had stepped down from the role on the Australia Council to which Morrison had appointed her. She showed up to fewer than half of the meetings the council held while she was a member, and quit citing other “work commitments”. And let’s face it, matters of state are one thing, but the opportunity to appear as a carnivorous plant on the French version of The Masked Singer, alongside the likes of Jeff Panacloc and his naughty monkey puppet Jean-Marc … well that comes but once in a lifetime.

While the bipartisan practice of stacking various agencies and boards with political allies was greatly accelerated during Morrison’s reign, it’s largely forgotten — as Ross Mueller wrote in Crikey — how many of them simply reflected Morrison’s strange, faintly needy obsession with celebrity.

There was the appointment of Ita Buttrose to chair the ABC (ignoring the $160,000 shortlist compiled by a recruitment company on the government’s behalf). Taking Greg Norman and Curtis Stone to the White House. The “one of the lads” cavorting with various sports teams. Using Guy Sebastian as a “prop”, in the singer’s words, to announce the sluggishly administered $250 million relief package to support the arts sector during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Then there was the “national careers ambassador” Scott Cam from reality building-renovation TV show The Block. Between his appointment in October 2019 and March 2020, he attended a single event and delivered four social media posts — by April, after COVID hit, Cam announced he was giving up the remainder of his salary meaning he made a measly $175,000 of the $347,000 public money he was to receive for the 15-month gig.