Midwinter Ball: does *anyone* want to go to the cricket with Peter Dutton?

“Well, would you believe it or not, they say sometimes politicians are out of touch and I understand why they sometimes say that, but the media … the media guys,” a befuddled Anthony Albanese told Mick and MG in the Morning when asked where he’d be tuning in to tonight’s game two of the State of Origin. “The press gallery ball is on tonight.”

Yep, the national press gallery’s Midwinter Ball, that vaguely icky get-together between high-profile journalists and the politicians they are supposed to be holding to account, complete with its own self -imposed suppression order, is tonight. It coincides with the winter solstice, the point where our part of the globe is as far from the sun as it gets all year. We’re sure there’s a metaphor for something in that.

Last week we brought you news of the charity auction being held ahead of the night — under more pressure than usual after the event ditched its long-time corporate and fossil fuel sponsorship. The items included a game of tennis or pool with the PM, taking in a game of Big Bash cricket with Opposition Leader Peter Dutton, or two business class return tickets to London or Los Angeles.

Hey, guess which one got the lowest bid.

We noted in the last piece that Dutton hadn’t received a bid. Days passed, and with no-one putting their hand in their pocket, it looked like Dutton was headed for the first “no” vote he didn’t like the look of. It would have been particularly galling given it coincided with a little bidding war for Anthony Albanese’s company.

Dutton’s blushes were eventually spared by a single last-minute bid from a John Connolly, who shelled out six grand. Of course, the between-innings chat may get a touch awkward if Dutton asks why Connolly could only spare $6000 to hang with him when he was apparently willing to drop $12,000 on a doubles game with Albanese?

Of course, there are a lot of John Connollys in the world — is Dutton in for an evening with Lachlan Murdoch’s spinner? The former Wallabies coach? The best-selling supernatural thriller author? Or perhaps it’s disgraced former FBI agent and convicted murderer John Connolly, fresh out of jail and hoping to use the remainder of his time on earth to catch up on this T20 cricket he’s been hearing so much about?

Here’s a rundown of the final bids for one unforgettable night with Albanese.

Early favourite Eamonn FitzPatrick stuck in there to the end but was eventually overtaken by an anonymous $16,500 bid. And honestly, what better way to celebrate press freedom and transparency in this country than to let someone secretly drop just under a quarter of Australia’s average yearly wage to spend a day with the prime minister?