By their logic, Peter Dutton and Michaelia Cash might be ineligible for Parliament

When it comes to how various markings should be counted in the vote on the Indigenous Voice to Parliament, the Coalition is nothing if not consistent. “I mean, if a tick counts for Yes, then a cross should count for No,” Opposition Leader Peter Dutton told 2GB as part of his ongoing quest to enrich national politics by scraping the bottom of every barrel he encounters into woodchips.

“I just think it just stinks to be honest,” he added, speaking about a rule that has stood for decades, and that he never once challenged during the 15 of those years he was a member of the governing party.

“If a tick counts for Yes, a cross should count for No. To do otherwise gives the Yes case an unfair advantage. The decision to treat ticks as ‘yes’ but crosses as ambiguous is a decision the AEC has made,” Michaelia Cash agreed, reaffirming the shamelessness that previously saw her accept the role of attorney-general without audibly laughing.

Yep, whatever those whingers at the Australian Electoral Commission and elsewhere have to say about “damaging and opportunistic attacks on democratic institutions” or whatever, it’s a universal truth: all ticks mean yes and all crosses mean no. Which is why we were horrified when a tipster got in touch to direct us toward Dutton’s register of qualifications:

Oh. My. God.

And Cash’s, we’re very upset to report, is much the same:

You may remember the qualifications form came to prominence in 2017 after a rash of parliamentarians were spat out of the building, like Augustus Gloop being expelled from his chocolatey swim, for breaches of the eligibility section 44 of the constitution, usually owing to actual or potential dual citizenship. At the very least, Cash and Dutton’s paperwork raises serious questions. As you can see above, neither appears to know the citizenship status of their parents or grandparents. Even more worryingly, when asked about whether her parents or grandparents were born outside Australia, Cash puts the universal signal for no — only to reveal later that her maternal grandmother was born in Singapore and her maternal grandfather was from the United Kingdom.

Both declarations are riddled with these inconsistencies, and both Cash and Dutton insouciantly refuse to provide any detail regarding their family backgrounds:

This kind of sloppy paperwork cost scores of parliamentarians dearly, across both houses and several parties. If they don’t want to give the impression of a process rigged in their favour, Cash and Dutton have serious questions to answer.