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(Image: AAP/James Ross)

A CASE BY CASE BASIS

Victorian Premier Dan Andrews has ditched the goal of Victoria reaching COVID zero. Andrews will reveal the number of cases that “we think we can contain”, providing further insight into the state’s suppression strategy, with tolerable case numbers “as close to zero as possible”. The news comes as Victoria records COVID-19 fatalities for the first time this year. Two women, one aged in her late forties, the other in her sixties, died in their homes. It is the first time the state has seen a COVID-19 death since November 30 2020, The Age reports.

The Herald Sun ($) says that Victoria’s playground ban will reportedly be scrapped on Friday, but other restrictions will ease on a staggered basis as the state heads towards the 80% vaccinated threshold. (An additional 500,000 vaccines from Singapore should help speed things up.)

In the ACT playgrounds will reopen and more people can gather outside from tomorrow, the ABC reports, but the territory’s lockdown has been extended for another two weeks.

Meanwhile, there were 135 arrests across 79 lockdown protests in NSW yesterday, according to the ABC, while anti-lockdown activist Monica Smit was arrested driving in Melbourne, according to Guardian Australia. There were also small anti-lockdown protests in New Zealand where another Australian, Karen Brewer, was arrested in Kaikohe according to NZ Herald.

[free_worm]

A NEW ERA FOR AFGHANISTAN

The last US troops have left Afghanistan, marking the beginning of a new — and for many, frightening — era in the country. The Taliban declared victory on the tarmac as the last US plane left, signalling the end to the West’s two-decade involvement, as The New York Times reports. The ABC spoke to an anonymous woman who said the sky lit up with gunfire as some celebrated, but that many Afghan people remain sorrowful and locked in their homes. A humanitarian crisis now looms ahead for the Taliban — a third of all Afghans face what the United Nations calls crisis levels of food insecurity, Al Jazeera reports.

There are fears that social progress in the country is already being wound back. Guardian Australia spoke to an Afghan woman who lost her job at a customs office. “The distance between life and death is very narrow under these people in control. Beards or clothing might be a very simple thing for people in other parts of the world, but here it is a life-threatening struggle,” one man said. Prime Minister Scott Morrison said yesterday he would like to see an increase to the 3000 Afghan refugees he had previously committed to resettling in Australia, The Australian ($) reports.

CHAPLAINS V CLIMATE CATASTROPHE

Coalition MPs are urging Prime Minister Scott Morrison to throw more money at the government’s school chaplaincy program — because kids are freaking out about climate change. Guardian Australia reports that the Coalition party room saw Liberal MP Andrew Wallace drawing a fairly long bow between children’s fear of climate change with the threat of nuclear accidents in the 1970s and ’80s. Wallace said groups like GetUp and Extinction Rebellion were “robbing children of hope”. Rather than, you know, the government refusing to advance our climate targets despite a landmark report from the IPCC, as the ABC reports. Indeed the deadly Hurricane Ida which swept this week through southern US states is a “glimpse of the dystopia that’s coming for all of us,” The New York Times reported this morning.

Assistant Youth Minister Luke Howarth told Guardian Australia that climate activism is “alarmist and does cause mental health problems for young people” and could be alleviated by chaplains. About 3100 schools get $20,000 to put towards the annual $45,000 cost of a chaplain. The program received $247 million over four years from the 2018 budget. If it’s sounding a little devout, The Conversation explains that not all chaplains are religious, and Australia’s chaplaincy program actually prohibits preaching or religious practice.

ON A LIGHTER NOTE

Writer and editor Patrick Lenton says he used to believe dating can be compared to making soup — all the ingredients can be there, but one tiny thing can turn it into a horrible mess, as he writes in a rather gorgeously earnest story for Guardian Australia. It’s for this reason Lenton didn’t approach his first date — on Zoom, as per the times — with Melbourne musician Eilish Gilligan with a lot of confidence. But surely a video date was just a temporary measure, he reasoned, until they were able to meet in the real world in one of Melbourne’s fabulous bars or cafes. No such luck.

So the pair made the best of it. “Our first few dates were PowerPoint presentations about ourselves,” he writes. “Mine was called ‘So You’ve Decided To Get To Know Patrick Lenton — Weird’. Hers was called ‘Eilish Gilligan 101’.” Lenton said the pair watched hours of films and YouTube compilations, and even started penning each other letters in Jane Austen style. When they finally met, Lenton says, it was scarier than a first date — both found themselves “hysterical, babbling, perched on the edge of a couch in an AirBnb, as jumpy as long-tailed cats in a room full of rocking chairs”. But the romance translated offline — they just celebrated their one-year anniversary.

Love endures. Sending warmth to all of you today.

THEY REALLY SAID THAT?

I just cannot understand why there are people over there saying we should deliberately infect ourselves. There’s this sort of mindset in Sydney that somehow we should all be like Sydney. What? Locked down, infected, with no one going to work, the economy in free fall, people dying?

Mark McGowan

The WA premier lashed out at calls to reopen the state’s border once a 70% vaccination target is met, saying he would make a “judgment” once 80% is reached. Attorney-General Michaelia Cash has warned that McGowan’s powers to enforce the border closure will soon diminish ($). WA’s rollout is still lagging slightly behind the rest of the country, with 31% of eligible Western Australians vaxxed.

CRIKEY RECAP

‘I got the AZ’: the peculiar second life of the disdained AstraZeneca vaccine

Aug 31, 2021

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“Getting AZ carries with it a number of subtle, but desirable, messages. The recipient is highly rational and able to assess risks without succumbing to fear mongering. They’re happy to accept risk and even go against official health advice. Essentially they’re bold, independent thinkers — and a little edgy. And, finally, they care about the public good and doing their bit. This selflessness permits them a ‘humble brag’ on social media in the name of spreading messages of vaccine confidence …

“This newfound status is a rather humorous pivot, given that not so long ago the name AstraZeneca equalled blood clots and death. Even once the minuscule risks were explained and contextualised, the older generation still wasn’t biting, and it looked like the AZ campaign was tainted beyond recovery. But when under-40s were given the go-ahead to request the AZ from their GPs, counter to the government’s vaccine advisory group ATAGI’s advice at the time, a new wave of youth-driven AZ support was born.”

Hacking Kelly: how to let Craig Kelly, spammer, know how you feel

Aug 31, 2021

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“You can call [Craig Kelly’s] Canberra office as well, if anyone’s picking up there, on (02) 6277 4366. And if you still have a fax, you can fax him on (02) 9545 0927. Some people might be cruel enough to suggest that you do the old black paper loop trick — get a long sheet of black paper, or stick together some sheets, and feed it into your fax, then tape the ends so it becomes a permanent black loop going around, and fax him that for a few hours. But the Commonwealth is paying for his toner supplies so you’d really only be hurting yourself.

“But since Kelly is spamming people’s mobiles, why not call his mobile on 0458 150 211? Your short messages will, conveniently, be sent to him as a text — or you can text him directly. Or here’s another idea. Why not become a member of UAP? You can either sign up a completely fabricated identity (or someone you hate), or sign up yourself. Who’s up for a mass act of political trolling whereby lots of people join a far-right party of wingnuts and anti-vaxxers and then disrupt it from within?”

Morrison does religion and politics — but you might not know where one stops and the other begins

Aug 31, 2021

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“He spoke about how he had secretly used the religious practice of the laying on of hands to comfort bushfire survivors. He spoke of a painting he saw at an art gallery — ‘the biggest picture of a soaring eagle’, as he recalled it — when he asked for a sign from God during the election campaign of 2019. [Scott Morrison] took this to mean he should ‘not grow weary’, but rather should ‘soar like an eagle’. Morrison fused his public and his religious life unequivocally that night.

“Taxpayers footed the bill for his travel. What they also paid for was for Morrison to give a public shout-out to his friend and mentor Brian Houston. ‘Just pay you honour, mate,’ the prime minister offered in tribute. At the time Houston was the subject of a NSW Police investigation into the alleged concealment of information relating to child sexual abuse committed by his father, the late pastor Frank Houston. Can Morrison not have been aware of that?”

READ ALL ABOUT IT

Medellin strives to become Latin America’s first ‘eco-city’ (Al Jazeera)

To Save Lake Tahoe, They Spared No Expense. The Fire Came Over the Ridge Anyway. (The New York Times)

Irish population tops 5m for first time since 1851 census (BBC)

Darren Hick’s gold an ‘absolute dream’ as post-tragedy turnaround continues (ABC)

People can self-identify as male or female in Scottish census, says guidance (The Guardian)

The Delta deluge: Scenes from flood-stricken West Auckland (NZ Herald)

Israel registers record daily coronavirus cases (The Guardian)

More than 20 LGAs in NSW to enter bushfire danger period early ahead of hot, dry spring (The Australian) ($)

Europe Hits Covid-19 Milestone With 70% of Adults Vaccinated (The Wall Street Journal)

Fake Banksy NFT sold through artist’s website for £244k (BBC)

China erases billionaire actress Zhao Wei from history (NZ Herald)

THE COMMENTARIAT

I disclosed my fear of needles, and the response stunned me — Jake FitzSimons (The Age): “For fun, I put a photo of myself post-shot on Twitter, and I was stunned by the immediate response. The vast majority of people were supportive, with many saying they had avoided getting the vaccine due to their own trypanophobia. One woman said she suffered from it so badly she had given birth twice without anesthetic. Dozens rightly noted that anyone afraid of needles had best get vaccinated rather than experience COVID-19 induced intubation in the ICU.

“But a small, sad minority felt otherwise. I was told that a phobia was cowardly. That I needed to harden up. That if I was afraid of needles, I should probably begin identifying as a woman, as though that were some kind of terrible insult. And while none of that is true, it makes me wonder how prevalent those views are. How many out there would get the vaccine were it not for their irrational but inescapable fears? How many people find it easier to avoid the jab altogether rather than talk to someone and find a way forward?”

Worrying About Your Carbon Footprint Is Exactly What Big Oil Wants You to Do — Auden Schendler (The New York Times): “Carbon neutrality doesn’t achieve any sort of systemic change. A coal-powered business could be entirely carbon neutral as long it stops some landfill gas in Malaysia from entering the atmosphere equal to the emissions it’s still releasing. American fossil fuel dependence would remain intact, and planet-warming emissions would continue to rise. The only way to fix that is through politics, policymakers and legislation. But distressingly, most businesses don’t want to play in that arena …

“What do fossil fuel companies prefer? They like consumers and corporations to do anything and everything as long as they stay out of the companies’ way and avoid doing anything that could actually make a difference. Tragically, the overwhelming majority of American businesses are on a path of complicity. Their climate strategy avoids conflict and generates great P.R. Unfortunately, it also allows fossil fuel interests to monetize their remaining assets unhindered, ensuring catastrophe for all. How carbon neutral is that?”

HOLD THE FRONT PAGE

The Latest Headlines

WHAT’S ON TODAY

Australia

  • Former prime ministers Julia Gillard and John Howard will speak at the 70th anniversary of the ANZUS Treaty in a webinar from the United States Studies Centre.

  • Former UK Labour leader Ed Miliband will speak with former Australian deputy PM Wayne Swan about Miliband’s book, Go Big, in a webinar from the Australia Institute.

  • Author Ruth McIver will launch her book I Shot the Devil, which won the 2018 Richell Prize for emerging writers.

Ngunnawal Country (also known as Canberra)

  • New Forests’ David Brand will discuss climate change policy on the forestry sector as a key speaker at the National Forest Industries Symposium.

Whadjuk Noongar Country (also known as Perth)

  • Foreign Affairs Minister Marise Payne and WA Mining Minister Bill Johnston will speak at the Africa Down Under mining forum.