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In Everyday Dilemmas, Dr Leslie Cannold uses her ethical training to help solve your problems. Send your questions to letters@crikey.com.au with “Dear Leslie” in the subject line. She might even reply…

Dear Leslie, 

I hope you had a restful holiday season. I am writing to you because we did not. We spent most of the time arguing with our new neighbours. Cigarette butts and cans of alcohol rain down from their balcony on to our front path and garden. Strange people arrive at all hours, including terrifying men covered in tattoos, and they enter through the security door the renters installed the minute they moved in. Add the slurred speech, glazed expression and aggressive responses we get whenever we complain and, yes, we think they’re drug dealers — as does everyone else in the building. But how can we prove it (and avoid getting injured by a projectile in the meantime)?

Desperately Needing Downtime 

Dear DND, 

That’s awful. Having a safe harbour in which to retreat and restore is a critical adjunct to good health, and when you lose it — to a disintegrating relationship, a delinquent teenager, or horrendous neighbours — it’s hard think straight. So let me at least do some straight thinking for you. I see two problems: the raining rubbish and the dangerous characters. So let’s take them in turn. 

Raining rubbish This is revolting. It’s also dangerous if something large or hard hits you when moving through the doorway or in the garden. If speaking to your neighbour doesn’t help, try writing to them. If that doesn’t work, send an email to the owner and/or agent explaining the problem and the failure of multiple direct requests to the tenants to solve it. Copy in the body corporate and all the owners/tenants on the property (who should feel free to “reply all” to support your concerns and/or tell their own experiences with the tenants). Propose your ideal solution: a screen around their balcony? An awning over yours? Regular/additional rubbish pick-ups at their property?

Request an immediate response or one that arrives no later than 10 business days. Attach documentation including every photo you’ve snapped of the junk landing on your property, as well as all correspondence you’ve sent to the neighbours asking it to stop. If exchanges have been in person, cite the day, location and time they took place. 

If that doesn’t work, issue one follow-up letter and then move on to obtaining advice from Victorian Legal Aid and, if this doesn’t work or it advises it, the Dispute Resolution Centre of Victoria (DRCV), which specialises in mediating disputes between neighbours. 

Dangerous characters First, if you have been assaulted, harassed or threatened by your neighbour, or your property has been damaged, you should apply ASAP for a personal safety intervention order. If you don’t feel safe, don’t muck around. But be forewarned that if there’s been no violence, you’ll be directed to mediation (see the link to the DRCV above).

If matters have not escalated, try to keep it that way. Although ideally this would mean anonymously reporting your suspicions of a drug den to the police before sitting back and letting them do their job, I know that on Earth One, cops rarely respond to a single reported suspicion unless 1) it’s clear how you came across the information and you can clearly document it, and 2) they receive similar allegations from other sources. 

If you and your neighbours have the evidence, you should each file an anonymous written report on Crime Stoppers. Make sure to include your neighbour’s address so the reports can be linked. Hopefully an investigation will follow. 

If you’re still gathering it, just be careful. Spread assignments and, with it, the risk. One unit can keep an eye on the rubbish and photograph anything of use. Others, preferably with dogs to walk, can capture the number plates of vehicles parked outside while another can keep track of who comes and goes and when — which if an investigation commences can be lined up with claimed work hours. Just call me Sherlock, right?

Anyway, I wish you the speediest resolution to what I think you can tell has been my own experience of a similar nightmare, 

Best, 

Leslie 

Dear Leslie, 

Last night my neighbour from the noisy, down-and-out apartment next door knocked on my door and asked to buy a cigarette. When I said I didn’t smoke, she asked for $5. I was so taken aback, I said no and closed the door on her face. Now I feel guilty, but should I? 

Naughty in 2C

Dear Naughty, 

Absolutely not. You did the right thing. You can’t have beggars knowing where you live; you’ll never get a moment’s peace. Your home should be a refuge from the troubles of the world, not a meeting point. If you’re really worried about the woman, you could anonymously slip money into her mailbox or under her door, but I wouldn’t advise it. Better a pamphlet advising her on where to seek support if it’s money for living expenses — not drugs — she’s after. 

Best, 

Leslie 

Send your dilemmas to letters@crikey.com.au with “Dear Leslie” in the subject line and you could get a reply from Dr Cannold in this column. We reserve the right to edit letters for length and clarity.